If you are a fan of my previous work (and honestly, who isn't?), I am honored and grateful to have you try this new venture.
If you haven't had the pleasure yet of enjoying my wit and wisdom, then feel free to visit http://runningbackfromretirement.blogspot.com/. I wrote that blog over 9 weeks in late 2013 while training for my half-marathon comeback race.
I enjoyed writing that first blog very much, but felt constricted from time to time by the premise that it was tied to my race or running. Several times, I was struck with a thought or idea that I wanted to flesh out in the form of an essay, but could not figure out a way to make it relevant to running. What kinds of ideas? Glad you asked.
For example, my now 3 year old daughter, TheGirl, received her first Barbie doll for her recent birthday. As a slightly more evolved caveman, I was really hoping my little girl would skip over the doll phase (and every other traditional "girl thing") entirely and stick to sports and monster trucks, but I understand we can't always get what we want. So, I was completely fine with the thought of having to play Barbie's with my kid. I already do the tea party thing, so might as well go all the way, right?
I quickly did an about-face when I saw what was under Barbie's dress.
My 3 year old's doll is wearing a f$%&ing thong?
I am not-exactly prudish and have once or twice been in the same vicinity as a stripper (she was working her way through college and couldn't make enough money at her normal job as a Sunday school teacher), but this surprised the hell out of me.
Oh, and don't forget the shoes to go with it.
I googled "stripper shoes" and these were among the results that came back.
THESE ARE PRETTY GODDAMN SIMILAR!
Can we as a society just slow the F$%& down with sexualizing our children? They grow up fast enough and are bombarded with images that only accelerate that process.
A couple years ago, Katy Perry was supposed to be on Sesame Street teaching Elmo about something, but the segment was pulled because she was showing too much titty.
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| Elmo is not making eye contact with Katy. |
A bit later, she was on Saturday Night Live and made fun of the kerfluffle.
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| You are making eye contact with Elmo, aren't you? |
Now, don't get me wrong. As a red-blooded American male, I am very much in favor of Katy Perry showing off her boobs. They are succulent and impressive and she should be proud of them. Katy, please show us more, just not on a children's show! I do not want TheGirl turning on Sesame Street expecting to learn about the differences between near and far or hot and cold and looking at a pop star's big ol' tits spilling out of a tiny dress. However, I'm completely fine with my daughter playing with a doll that impresses upon her a near-impossible idea of what a woman is supposed to look like, without having her being exposed to sexy undergarments and pole dancing footwear. Somewhere, there is a line here.
Recently, the Facebook page Plus Sized Modeling (I am not going to take the time to find that page and link to it. I really do not need that in my browser history) created a poll asking if America would want a Barbie doll that looked like this:
While we're at it, let's just go all the way and give this version of Barbie to our daughters to aspire to:
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| Special Dunkin' Donuts Limited Edition |
Look, I do not want TheGirl playing with either Hooker Barbie or Morbid Obesity Barbie. Just stick with All-American Hot Chick Barbie, give her some appropriate underwear if underwear is necessary for a doll, and let's call it a day.
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How could I possibly shoehorn that very important Op-Ed worthy topic into a blog about running? You see my dilemma.
If you found the above inappropriate in some way, you should probably not read future installments of my blog. Not everything is about strippers or thong underwear, but you probably have a good idea of my sensibilities from that.
When asked in an interview to explain the appeal of professional wrestling, 2nd generation promoter and mediocre wrestler Jeff Jarret said "For those that get it, no explanation is necessary. For those that do not, no explanation will do."
I really liked that quote when I first read it and I think it applies to the way I write (and think, and speak, and parent....). I know there is an audience for this since many of you have told me you would like to read more, but I also know that it isn't for everyone. No hard feelings if you want to walk away quietly. I know it isn't you, it's me.
If you are still on board, tune in next time as I share some of the other semi-coherent ramblings that bounce around in my noggin.
Happy New Year, everyone!
